Fic: RPF: Say Goodbye (20/26).
Feb. 24th, 2009 08:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
x_moonshine_xTitle: Say Goodbye (20/26).
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
x_moonshine_x
Pairing: Rupert/Emma with slight Dan/Bonnie.
Rating: R.
Warnings: Real person fiction.
Word count: 2,490.
Summary: For some, coming to the end means having to say goodbye. For others, the end is only just the beginning.
Previous Chapters: Here.
A/N: Finally I give you the R rated chapter (at a push)! Yes, it does exist lol.
Say Goodbye
Chapter 20 – Truth and Lies
Date: Friday 14th July 2011
Location: Kensington, London, England
Dropping the teaspoon she’d been using to stir her coffee into the sink with a plop, Emma sighed softly and looked out of the window in front of her, watching as the rain fell. They’d been at Dan’s for the last two hours and as much as she loved spending time with everyone, her heart wasn’t in it tonight and she wanted to be with Rupert... alone.
They still had so much to talk about and as yet, she hadn’t found the right time to approach him about it.
She didn’t want to make the evening awkward and that would remain her problem until it was over. She had considered collaring him on their way out later, but again, did she really want to end such a great night by creating unnecessary tension between them, especially just as everything was finally going the way she’d wanted them to for months?
Emma and Rupert. Rupert and Emma. She’d waited forever to call them an ‘us’. One false move and she could ruin it all so easily.
Unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how you looked at it, she didn’t need to proposition him after all. As she stepped back into the living room to join the boys, cup of coffee in hand, she heard Rupert ask, quite brazenly, ‘Well what would you do if you found out that Bonnie was pregnant? It’s not exactly easy, you know…’
Emma felt the colour drain from her face immediately and reached out to hold the back of the couch for support, her knuckles going white as she clung on. If she stood there any longer unaided, she would undoubtedly hit the floor. Apparently thinking that he had said nothing to her because he didn’t know or she’d been wrong, had been bad judgement on her part.
But he was Rupert and she had always thought she knew him so well, never in a million years did she think he would keep anything from her, especially something as important and life changing as this.
‘God… I’m such an idiot,’ she murmured, alerting them both to her presence.
Rupert’s face fell the moment he clapped eyes on her. Neither of them needed to speak for him to know that she had heard everything. She’d never seen him look so guilty. He scrambled to his feet seconds later, but she was too quick for him and spun on her heel, abandoning her coffee in the hallway and fleeing to the bathroom, locking herself away in there and sitting on the edge of the bathtub.
At this point, she didn’t exactly care what Dan was thinking about the extremely sudden dramatics.
‘Em?’
The first sob broke through the moment she heard Rupert’s voice, tears she’d held back for so long finally breaking through and spilling down her cheeks. She bit down on her lip, trying to hold them back as best she could, not wanting him to hear her cry over this.
‘I didn’t know how to tell you…’ he said softly, his voice carrying through from the other side of the door.
Emma shook her head, reaching up to wipe her eyes as she choked on another sob. ‘I knew…’ she responded just loud enough for him to hear. ‘I figured it out weeks ago and seeing as you didn’t say anything to me yesterday, I thought that she hadn’t told you or maybe, just maybe, that I was wrong about the whole thing.’ She closed her eyes briefly, sorting through what she wanted to say. ‘But of all of the guy’s I’ve dated, I didn’t think that you would lie to me. Surely we’ve been through too much for that.’
As she finished, she took a breath, her whole body trembling as she turned away from the mirror opposite. She couldn’t look at herself anymore.
Silence followed for a while and then she heard Rupert sigh, murmuring, ‘Believe me, Em, I wanted to tell you right away, but I…I…’ He faltered slightly, falling over his words as emotion got the better of him. ‘I could barely get my own head around it, let alone figure out what to say to you,’ he finished.
She frowned, resting her head against the door, her breathing hard as she fought to contain her upset. ‘You can tell me anything, you should know that by now,’ she whispered.
Whether he heard her or not, was anyone’s guess, but she barely heard herself.
‘Let me in, Emma, please…’
Hesitating, she glanced down to the lock and then drew another breath, reaching her hand down to do just that. The lock slid open with a soft clunk and five seconds later she found herself in his arms again, burying her head against his shoulder and clinging on for dear life.
‘I’m sorry, so sorry,’ Rupert whispered, words muffled by her hair. ‘I should have told you.’
Responding was beyond her, instead she curled closer to him, her tears subsiding as he slid his hands up her back and drew her near. She could have stayed there forever, of that she was sure. No matter how she was feeling, how angry she was with him, his touch always made her forget again.
‘I can’t believe you spoke to Dan about it before me,’ Emma muttered eventually, taking a step back and regarding him with contempt. ‘This is me, Rupes, Emma… and if you can’t--’
‘That’s why I couldn’t, because it’s you, because I didn’t want to hurt you anymore than I had already!’ He shook his head, raking his hands up into his hair, a breath catching in his throat. ‘The last thing I wanted was to do that to you, you don’t deserve any--’
She cut him off with a tender kiss, rising up on her tiptoes and snaking her arms around his neck as she surrendered herself to him. She didn’t need to hear anymore.
They kissed desperately, Rupert didn’t take much convincing after all, and within seconds he had her up on the edge of the sink and was fumbling with the buttons of her jeans, his lips sliding skilfully across her jaw. She had to call time then, remembering where they were, and placed her hand to his chest, murmuring softly, ‘Take me home.’ She knew he would oblige and he lowered her back down straight away, her feet connecting with the ground as his mouth brushed against hers, hot and wanton.
‘Come on.’ He reached for her hand, leading her back out of the bathroom and into the living room instead.
Dan was perched on the edge of the couch looking uneasy – apparently Bonnie still hadn’t arrived – and now they were about to leave and make things worse for him.
’I’m taking Emma home,’ said Rupert, saving her the job of thinking up an explanation and ploughing right on in there without hesitation. ‘Sorry to leave so early, we didn’t really plan on ruining the--’
‘You haven’t,’ Dan protested weakly, lifting his shoulders in a carefree shrug. ‘It was already ruined when Bonnie got stuck in traffic three hours ago. You may as well go anyway, who knows when she’ll actually get here now.’ He frowned and picked up a solitary Pringle from the bowl on the coffee table. ‘See you soon.’
Suddenly Emma felt guilty for leaving but Rupert didn’t give her the time to change her mind, tugging her out of the door as soon as she’d slipped on both her shoes and jacket, and flashing her the single most infectious smile she’d ever seen.
The night was warm and the rain still falling heavily as he ushered her to his car, attempting to shelter her from the downpour by holding his own jacket aloft. Although a nice gesture, it had little effect and by the time she fell into the passenger seat she resembled a drowned rat, hair bedraggled and sticking to her damp skin in clumps.
‘Nice weather we’re having, huh?’ she questioned, laughing softly as he hopped into the car beside her, muttering and cursing under his breath.
Rupert forced a smile onto his face as he shook the water from his hair and once he had finally calmed down, murmured, ‘Seems pretty normal to me…’ He slipped the car into gear several seconds later and following one last fleeting look in her direction, started the drive over to hers.
The storm didn’t let up once during the drive. Raindrops hammered against the windscreen, lightning streaked across the sky, thunder rumbled in the distance and Emma didn’t look away from him once, mesmerised by the concentration on his face and the way his eyes sparkled in the city lights.
Even when he pulled up outside her house and killed the engine an hour later, there were no signs of it stopping or slowing. And for a minute or so, they sat in complete silence, listening to the sound of the rain pounding against the roof.
She eventually cleared her throat, biting tentatively on her lip as she reached her hand out and placed it against his arm. ‘Did you want to come in?’ she asked. ‘There’s a half empty bottle of wine in the fridge we could finish off, it would be a shame for it to go to waste.’
Why she was trying to come up with an excuse, she didn’t know. They were together now; did she honestly need a whole list of reasons why he should come inside?
Rupert said nothing though, simply smiled and climbed out of the car, locking up as soon as she’d followed suit.
They fell through the door moments later, throwing clothes this way and that, stumbling over their own feet as they wrestled their way into the kitchen. At some point Emma did actually manage to retrieve the wine from the fridge, but seconds later it was set aside and she jumped up, wrapping her legs around Rupert’s waist and kissing him feverishly. He returned the kiss with the same enthusiasm, hands tangling into her hair as he sat her on the counter.
Shortly after that, wine forgotten, he had her pressed up against the refrigerator and was slowly peeling her oversized cardigan from her slim frame, his lips smothering every inch of skin he exposed. She writhed beneath his touch, lifting her arms up and grasping onto the door above her head as her breathing became more laboured, chest rising and falling in time with her heartbeat. She couldn’t actually breathe properly anymore, but it was beyond her now.
Rupert’s touches became more intense as lost themselves, his solitary task, to make her squirm. And he was succeeding at it, too. Her eyes fluttered closed as his hands slipped beneath her tank top, fingertips dancing across her stomach and over the barely there lace underwear she was wearing. She’d been kidding herself when she thought maybe they could take it a little slower.
Catching hold of the hem of her top, he yanked it over her head quickly, his movements only slowing when it left her body and he leant in, lips melding against hers desperately. She gasped at his urgency, tightening the hold she had around his waist and pulling him closer to her, arms dropping down as she threaded her fingers through his fiery hair.
Her clothes drifted down to the floor, one item at a time, his execution of undressing her, perfect to the last.
By the time they stumbled into the bedroom, Emma was unable to hide her annoyance that he was still fully clothed and began yanking, pulling, tearing, her actions so ungraceful in comparison to his. She needed him, she didn’t care how much mess she made while going about it. Designer jeans be damned.
Just as she dropped his t-shirt to the floor, he caught hold of her, spinning her around, his lips pressed to the shell of her ear as he whispered on a breath, ‘I love you, I love you so much… you know that, right?’
She whimpered, involuntarily, her eyes falling closed as she turned her face to his. Suddenly at a loss, she got up on her tiptoes and kissed him again, the response she should have for him falling away at the critical moment. She did love him; she’d known that for a long time, but saying it out loud after everything that had happened petrified her.
As they sunk down onto the bed, the last of their clothes discarded of carefully, Rupert pulled her into his lap, his hands sliding over her bare skin. Her reaction was instant, body curling around his, head dropping onto his shoulder as she let a breath go slowly.
‘Promise you’ll look after me…’ she whispered.
It was hardly what he wanted to hear right now, but she needed an answer, needed that reassurance. He gave it her soon enough, whispering words of comfort as their bodies came together and he kissed her shoulder tenderly.
Emma bit down softly on her lip, forehead resting against his as they moved through the motions, her skin glistening with sweat as the heat became unbearable. No one else in the world could get her worked up the way that Rupert could, a sentiment she was sure he echoed as his fingers raked through her damp hair and he murmured her name over and over again.
Her name never sounded so good as when it slipped from his lips.
Turning her face into the crook of his neck, she rolled her hips into his, moving slowly and drawing the moment out. She felt close to breaking point. She wanted to scream. But she didn’t want to let him go for one second tonight.
When they finally collapsed onto the bed twenty minutes later, both panting for breath and Rupert fighting giggles, she glanced to him and exclaimed, ‘I hate what you do to me, Rupert Grint!’
Rupert looked outraged, which considering his current state of undress and red face, only made Emma crack up and join in as she moved to lean over him. ‘I don’t mean it in a bad way,’ she told him truthfully, reaching out to poke the end of his nose playfully. ‘What I mean is that – you’re amazing, really, you--’ She hesitated, closing her eyes. ‘I love you, too, but sometimes I hate that I do.’
As he moved to prop himself up on his elbows, she averted her gaze. ‘Em,’ he started hesitantly, ‘look at me… please.’ She did as he asked and found him smiling up at her gently. ‘We’re going to work this out, properly this time.’
She nodded, swallowing down hard as she asked, ‘You do mean that?’
‘More than anything,’ he whispered back.
Emma could do nothing but believe him and as she laid her head down on his chest, forced herself to push all her doubts aside. Right now, in this moment, they didn't matter.
.x.
Author:
x_moonshine_xPairing: Rupert/Emma with slight Dan/Bonnie.
Rating: R.
Warnings: Real person fiction.
Word count: 2,490.
Summary: For some, coming to the end means having to say goodbye. For others, the end is only just the beginning.
Previous Chapters: Here.
A/N: Finally I give you the R rated chapter (at a push)! Yes, it does exist lol.
Chapter 20 – Truth and Lies
Date: Friday 14th July 2011
Location: Kensington, London, England
Dropping the teaspoon she’d been using to stir her coffee into the sink with a plop, Emma sighed softly and looked out of the window in front of her, watching as the rain fell. They’d been at Dan’s for the last two hours and as much as she loved spending time with everyone, her heart wasn’t in it tonight and she wanted to be with Rupert... alone.
They still had so much to talk about and as yet, she hadn’t found the right time to approach him about it.
She didn’t want to make the evening awkward and that would remain her problem until it was over. She had considered collaring him on their way out later, but again, did she really want to end such a great night by creating unnecessary tension between them, especially just as everything was finally going the way she’d wanted them to for months?
Emma and Rupert. Rupert and Emma. She’d waited forever to call them an ‘us’. One false move and she could ruin it all so easily.
Unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how you looked at it, she didn’t need to proposition him after all. As she stepped back into the living room to join the boys, cup of coffee in hand, she heard Rupert ask, quite brazenly, ‘Well what would you do if you found out that Bonnie was pregnant? It’s not exactly easy, you know…’
Emma felt the colour drain from her face immediately and reached out to hold the back of the couch for support, her knuckles going white as she clung on. If she stood there any longer unaided, she would undoubtedly hit the floor. Apparently thinking that he had said nothing to her because he didn’t know or she’d been wrong, had been bad judgement on her part.
But he was Rupert and she had always thought she knew him so well, never in a million years did she think he would keep anything from her, especially something as important and life changing as this.
‘God… I’m such an idiot,’ she murmured, alerting them both to her presence.
Rupert’s face fell the moment he clapped eyes on her. Neither of them needed to speak for him to know that she had heard everything. She’d never seen him look so guilty. He scrambled to his feet seconds later, but she was too quick for him and spun on her heel, abandoning her coffee in the hallway and fleeing to the bathroom, locking herself away in there and sitting on the edge of the bathtub.
At this point, she didn’t exactly care what Dan was thinking about the extremely sudden dramatics.
‘Em?’
The first sob broke through the moment she heard Rupert’s voice, tears she’d held back for so long finally breaking through and spilling down her cheeks. She bit down on her lip, trying to hold them back as best she could, not wanting him to hear her cry over this.
‘I didn’t know how to tell you…’ he said softly, his voice carrying through from the other side of the door.
Emma shook her head, reaching up to wipe her eyes as she choked on another sob. ‘I knew…’ she responded just loud enough for him to hear. ‘I figured it out weeks ago and seeing as you didn’t say anything to me yesterday, I thought that she hadn’t told you or maybe, just maybe, that I was wrong about the whole thing.’ She closed her eyes briefly, sorting through what she wanted to say. ‘But of all of the guy’s I’ve dated, I didn’t think that you would lie to me. Surely we’ve been through too much for that.’
As she finished, she took a breath, her whole body trembling as she turned away from the mirror opposite. She couldn’t look at herself anymore.
Silence followed for a while and then she heard Rupert sigh, murmuring, ‘Believe me, Em, I wanted to tell you right away, but I…I…’ He faltered slightly, falling over his words as emotion got the better of him. ‘I could barely get my own head around it, let alone figure out what to say to you,’ he finished.
She frowned, resting her head against the door, her breathing hard as she fought to contain her upset. ‘You can tell me anything, you should know that by now,’ she whispered.
Whether he heard her or not, was anyone’s guess, but she barely heard herself.
‘Let me in, Emma, please…’
Hesitating, she glanced down to the lock and then drew another breath, reaching her hand down to do just that. The lock slid open with a soft clunk and five seconds later she found herself in his arms again, burying her head against his shoulder and clinging on for dear life.
‘I’m sorry, so sorry,’ Rupert whispered, words muffled by her hair. ‘I should have told you.’
Responding was beyond her, instead she curled closer to him, her tears subsiding as he slid his hands up her back and drew her near. She could have stayed there forever, of that she was sure. No matter how she was feeling, how angry she was with him, his touch always made her forget again.
‘I can’t believe you spoke to Dan about it before me,’ Emma muttered eventually, taking a step back and regarding him with contempt. ‘This is me, Rupes, Emma… and if you can’t--’
‘That’s why I couldn’t, because it’s you, because I didn’t want to hurt you anymore than I had already!’ He shook his head, raking his hands up into his hair, a breath catching in his throat. ‘The last thing I wanted was to do that to you, you don’t deserve any--’
She cut him off with a tender kiss, rising up on her tiptoes and snaking her arms around his neck as she surrendered herself to him. She didn’t need to hear anymore.
They kissed desperately, Rupert didn’t take much convincing after all, and within seconds he had her up on the edge of the sink and was fumbling with the buttons of her jeans, his lips sliding skilfully across her jaw. She had to call time then, remembering where they were, and placed her hand to his chest, murmuring softly, ‘Take me home.’ She knew he would oblige and he lowered her back down straight away, her feet connecting with the ground as his mouth brushed against hers, hot and wanton.
‘Come on.’ He reached for her hand, leading her back out of the bathroom and into the living room instead.
Dan was perched on the edge of the couch looking uneasy – apparently Bonnie still hadn’t arrived – and now they were about to leave and make things worse for him.
’I’m taking Emma home,’ said Rupert, saving her the job of thinking up an explanation and ploughing right on in there without hesitation. ‘Sorry to leave so early, we didn’t really plan on ruining the--’
‘You haven’t,’ Dan protested weakly, lifting his shoulders in a carefree shrug. ‘It was already ruined when Bonnie got stuck in traffic three hours ago. You may as well go anyway, who knows when she’ll actually get here now.’ He frowned and picked up a solitary Pringle from the bowl on the coffee table. ‘See you soon.’
Suddenly Emma felt guilty for leaving but Rupert didn’t give her the time to change her mind, tugging her out of the door as soon as she’d slipped on both her shoes and jacket, and flashing her the single most infectious smile she’d ever seen.
The night was warm and the rain still falling heavily as he ushered her to his car, attempting to shelter her from the downpour by holding his own jacket aloft. Although a nice gesture, it had little effect and by the time she fell into the passenger seat she resembled a drowned rat, hair bedraggled and sticking to her damp skin in clumps.
‘Nice weather we’re having, huh?’ she questioned, laughing softly as he hopped into the car beside her, muttering and cursing under his breath.
Rupert forced a smile onto his face as he shook the water from his hair and once he had finally calmed down, murmured, ‘Seems pretty normal to me…’ He slipped the car into gear several seconds later and following one last fleeting look in her direction, started the drive over to hers.
The storm didn’t let up once during the drive. Raindrops hammered against the windscreen, lightning streaked across the sky, thunder rumbled in the distance and Emma didn’t look away from him once, mesmerised by the concentration on his face and the way his eyes sparkled in the city lights.
Even when he pulled up outside her house and killed the engine an hour later, there were no signs of it stopping or slowing. And for a minute or so, they sat in complete silence, listening to the sound of the rain pounding against the roof.
She eventually cleared her throat, biting tentatively on her lip as she reached her hand out and placed it against his arm. ‘Did you want to come in?’ she asked. ‘There’s a half empty bottle of wine in the fridge we could finish off, it would be a shame for it to go to waste.’
Why she was trying to come up with an excuse, she didn’t know. They were together now; did she honestly need a whole list of reasons why he should come inside?
Rupert said nothing though, simply smiled and climbed out of the car, locking up as soon as she’d followed suit.
They fell through the door moments later, throwing clothes this way and that, stumbling over their own feet as they wrestled their way into the kitchen. At some point Emma did actually manage to retrieve the wine from the fridge, but seconds later it was set aside and she jumped up, wrapping her legs around Rupert’s waist and kissing him feverishly. He returned the kiss with the same enthusiasm, hands tangling into her hair as he sat her on the counter.
Shortly after that, wine forgotten, he had her pressed up against the refrigerator and was slowly peeling her oversized cardigan from her slim frame, his lips smothering every inch of skin he exposed. She writhed beneath his touch, lifting her arms up and grasping onto the door above her head as her breathing became more laboured, chest rising and falling in time with her heartbeat. She couldn’t actually breathe properly anymore, but it was beyond her now.
Rupert’s touches became more intense as lost themselves, his solitary task, to make her squirm. And he was succeeding at it, too. Her eyes fluttered closed as his hands slipped beneath her tank top, fingertips dancing across her stomach and over the barely there lace underwear she was wearing. She’d been kidding herself when she thought maybe they could take it a little slower.
Catching hold of the hem of her top, he yanked it over her head quickly, his movements only slowing when it left her body and he leant in, lips melding against hers desperately. She gasped at his urgency, tightening the hold she had around his waist and pulling him closer to her, arms dropping down as she threaded her fingers through his fiery hair.
Her clothes drifted down to the floor, one item at a time, his execution of undressing her, perfect to the last.
By the time they stumbled into the bedroom, Emma was unable to hide her annoyance that he was still fully clothed and began yanking, pulling, tearing, her actions so ungraceful in comparison to his. She needed him, she didn’t care how much mess she made while going about it. Designer jeans be damned.
Just as she dropped his t-shirt to the floor, he caught hold of her, spinning her around, his lips pressed to the shell of her ear as he whispered on a breath, ‘I love you, I love you so much… you know that, right?’
She whimpered, involuntarily, her eyes falling closed as she turned her face to his. Suddenly at a loss, she got up on her tiptoes and kissed him again, the response she should have for him falling away at the critical moment. She did love him; she’d known that for a long time, but saying it out loud after everything that had happened petrified her.
As they sunk down onto the bed, the last of their clothes discarded of carefully, Rupert pulled her into his lap, his hands sliding over her bare skin. Her reaction was instant, body curling around his, head dropping onto his shoulder as she let a breath go slowly.
‘Promise you’ll look after me…’ she whispered.
It was hardly what he wanted to hear right now, but she needed an answer, needed that reassurance. He gave it her soon enough, whispering words of comfort as their bodies came together and he kissed her shoulder tenderly.
Emma bit down softly on her lip, forehead resting against his as they moved through the motions, her skin glistening with sweat as the heat became unbearable. No one else in the world could get her worked up the way that Rupert could, a sentiment she was sure he echoed as his fingers raked through her damp hair and he murmured her name over and over again.
Her name never sounded so good as when it slipped from his lips.
Turning her face into the crook of his neck, she rolled her hips into his, moving slowly and drawing the moment out. She felt close to breaking point. She wanted to scream. But she didn’t want to let him go for one second tonight.
When they finally collapsed onto the bed twenty minutes later, both panting for breath and Rupert fighting giggles, she glanced to him and exclaimed, ‘I hate what you do to me, Rupert Grint!’
Rupert looked outraged, which considering his current state of undress and red face, only made Emma crack up and join in as she moved to lean over him. ‘I don’t mean it in a bad way,’ she told him truthfully, reaching out to poke the end of his nose playfully. ‘What I mean is that – you’re amazing, really, you--’ She hesitated, closing her eyes. ‘I love you, too, but sometimes I hate that I do.’
As he moved to prop himself up on his elbows, she averted her gaze. ‘Em,’ he started hesitantly, ‘look at me… please.’ She did as he asked and found him smiling up at her gently. ‘We’re going to work this out, properly this time.’
She nodded, swallowing down hard as she asked, ‘You do mean that?’
‘More than anything,’ he whispered back.
Emma could do nothing but believe him and as she laid her head down on his chest, forced herself to push all her doubts aside. Right now, in this moment, they didn't matter.
.x.
